I did. I went into “Oh sh*t” mode. I’m texting my daughter (I’m so grateful for our relationship!) when an alert pops up: “Charge declined due to low balance.” Odd. I never have money, so I never use my Venmo account, so why is it telling me that there was a charge from Amazon??? I think of the implications. I’ll have to cancel the card, then they’ll resend one, but to what address? I don’t have a home, and I’m not sure where I’ll be tomorrow, so where am I supposed to have them send it? How am I to receive funds should someone dare to offer any? What about the website, donations, where was the data breach, will they try it again, blah blah yadda yadda and this and that and augh!!!!???!?

I quickly get online and google Amazon fraud. Then I get in que on the Venmo app to ask them to please advise. All things timeout, and I quit. Defeated. I later google the actual purchase description, something like: Amazon PYMNT. As I read about this line item description, I see that it may be a subscription. A subscription approved by me. I did it. I… just forgot.

There are a couple of things about these free “government phones” that people may not understand. I won’t list them all here, but I will highlight a few things. If you don’t use the phone’s cell data (as opposed to wifi) for a period of seven days (for some providers it’s 30 days), then the phone will shut off, and you’ll lose the number. That, and they come with an optional free three-month trial to Amazon. So tempting for someone who wouldn’t be able to access it otherwise. When you combine these two things with the fact that cell service isn’t always available, you get a person who goes through quite a few phone numbers, making accounts difficult to track when they are associated… with that phone number. 

All of that to say this: when we realize we have been disconnected from God, it may be quite normal to blame others (Someone stole my card! Fraudulent purchase! Help!). But perhaps after a little time and space, contemplation and reflection, we may find that we were the ones who turned away way back when… and we simply have forgotten. Could it be possible? If so, the good news is that all you have to do is call Amazon and speak with an agent about the confusion; they’ll reimburse any funds, if necessary, and cancel the account. Or, spiritually speaking, all you gotta do is bring awareness to what’s happening in your life, stop the foolishness you’re into, and ask God to show you The Way of Love. Amen.

We may not understand all the rules and fine print… at first. But as time progresses, it would behoove us to start paying attention. As though our lives (and the peace, love and joy that comes with truly living) depend on it. Otherwise we’ll have a drawer full of worthless phones and hidden fees stealing our livelihood. Or a religious life full of empty words and checkboxes devoid of meaning equally stealing our livelihood yet with our given (and forgotten) consent.

It’s a free gift, yes, but you have to use it or lose it.