Sit down.

I said sit down.

Shut up.

Enough already.

I told you to be quiet.

Leave the room then.

Would you get out of here?

Hey. Get back in here.

You hearing me?

Sit down. Sit down and shut up!

Why you got to get me so angry!

I said that’s enough!

You might be caught off guard at first. Then you might wonder if they’re really serious. What in the??? Then you giggle, a little, in disbelief. Then you giggle, a little more quietly and then to yourself, as you begin to get a little bit nervous. And finally you’re downright scared. Fearful.

Relationships aren’t always like they portray them on TV. They don’t all start with a rose and end with the millions. A lot of the times they start with the alcohol and end with the pregnancy. And oftentimes they start with a good looking guy in carpenter pants. He captures your heart (but not really, it was your lustful eye). And, while you’re distracted, they end with a black eye in the morning after a night you can’t remember wishing that you could just forget.

Who are you really getting involved with? You know what they appear to be on the outside. You know what it is they post on their highlight reel. You see the creation they’ve created via social media. You see their tech skills. They’re storytelling abilities. You see their casual demeanor, their “I just woke up like this”-edness. But who are they really?

Who are you really? Are you the person you portray on your social media? Are you really that good-looking all of the time? Do you really enjoy cats that much? (Don’t answer that.) Are you truly not empty inside of your heart? Do you cry yourself to sleep at night wishing you had just one good friend? One person who asked you about your day. One person to have checked in on the real you.

So no, this isn’t a story about him. Or her. Or that other person. Or if they really are who it is they say they are. This is a tale about you. And who it is you might actually be. Are you trying to blend in or stand out? Those are the choices. There’s also the “I’m gonna be who it is I am regardless”. A special breed though one we won’t be covering today.

The pressure to fit in is intense. And it comes in various layers: school, social media, family, work, sports, clubs… we’ve become different people depending on our location, event, surroundings. We’ve forgotten who it is we truly are.

Here’s a test: it’s 11pm. You haven’t looked at your phone for over an hour. You haven’t watched Netflix all night. You haven’t listened to mainstream music for a couple hours. You’ve had some time to yourself, in quiet, maybe with some classical music playing (you read somewhere that it was relaxing). You lay there. You think of three things that you were grateful for during the day. Three real and actual things. Maybe it was that you had food today. And for that you were grateful. Not everyone has food, by the way. Maybe it was pretty awesome that you actually had clean underwear to put on this morning. The fact that is was clean, yes. And that you actually had underwear. Or maybe, you had a father that packed your lunch this morning. Maybe he even gave you a kiss. Even if you think he’s a dork. Three things you’re grateful for.

Then you focus on your breath. For one minute. You get distracted, of course. You bring your focus back to your breath. You count one on the inhale through your nose. Two on the exhale through your mouth. Three on the inhale. All the way until you get up to 10. Then you do it again. After you make it up to 10 a few times, you ask yourself this question: what is it that I want from life?

You want to be in high places making that money.

“Who am I?” and then maybe you take it a little bit deeper. You ask, “Do I like who it is I’m making myself out to be?”

I want money I want money I want power I want fame.

I want money I want money I want power I want fame.

Where is that going to get you?

It’ll get me money money It’ll get me power power I’ll get me fame fame and maybe some ladies.

Let’s play that one out. Money is going to make your life worth living?

I was at a RV park in Ohio. Swimming in pool, doing laps. I stop to drain my goggles of the water that began to fill them up. This 9 year old was nearby with her 2 year old sister. Happy as could be, this 2 year old. Sheer joy. I, jokingly, ask the 9 year old why her sister was so happy. She said it’s because the 2 year old always gets what she wants. I asked if it was just a “baba” and a clean diaper that she wanted. The 9 year old said, actually… yes. I said that there is a lesson in that. We need to change what’s on our list.

Be who you truly are and you’ll be at peace, with love and in joy.