We begin at a beginning. Wherever you’re at, might I suggest you begin there?

For me, to begin in the here and now, I’d say how I awoke at three a.m. this morning with the story of the alabaster box on my heart. This woman, Mary¹ of Bethany², is at a house party of Simon³ the Leper. Mary breaks open the alabaster box and anoints⁴ Jesus, who is reclining on the floor at meat⁵. Onlookers scoff at this woman and comment about how she is wasting expensive oil on this new guy, Jesus, and are quick to point out how that oil could have been sold and the money given to the poor. They rebuke her. Jesus remarks, “Leave her alone. Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me.”

There is more to the story (there always is), but, truly, I’m looking to highlight how hard-hearted people (including our own inner thoughts) treat others who are doing a good thing. How many times does a woman who is down have to be kicked before she refuses to get back up? (It’s kind of like a twist on how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?) This was a woman who lived a sinful life, and now look at her: lavishly bathing Jesus in oil and wiping his feet with her hair. And you know what happens next? Jesus releases her from her sin and her sorrow. He heals her right then and there, and she becomes a disciple whom Jesus loved.

And so… flash forward a couple of thousand years, where we find Elisabeth suffering in her sin and sorrow, fragmented. A diagnosis of BiPolar I recently handed out, along with a load of pharmekia⁶ with a label of Dissociative Identity Disorder coming down the turnpike when who showed up at the party in this house (which is my body)? None other than Jesus (Love) Himself. And you know what happened next? He healed me. And asked me if I wanted to live. Not just survive. But live. And He invited me to follow him. Then He named me eli.

There will be, and are, onlookers, scoffers, and mockers who don’t understand the life of Mary (or the life of eli), and that’s okay. That won’t stop me from giving God everything I have. My life has been cracked open like an alabaster box. May the spikenard inside fill this house with it’s fragrance⁷. That this body be an earthen vessel for the power of God. That the spirit of the Lord come upon me from this day forward. I have been forgiven much. I will love much.

That all being said, I still fight an inner battle of unworthiness. A thorn, you might say, that the world has given me and the Lord has not taken away. The amount of abuse, neglect, and betrayal I have endured is unfathomable. Trauma leaves lasting effects. Though God has healed me of much (praise Him!), unworthiness is something I have to keep watch of. How the world will sneak into my thoughts and manipulate my sense of self-worth, whether it’s an obvious statement from a family member who says “you’re obviously desperate for love. If you’re looking for someone to love you, call somebody else.” Or the cold-shoulder of a loved one. Or the less obvious subtle serpent in the garden saying, “Are you really gonna spend the only money you have on a website???”

All of that to say this: I don’t often have money. I am blessed with other gifts. What money I do have goes to living expenses, like: toilet paper, diesel, freeze-dried chicken liver for training the dog, farmer’s market vegetables, pens and paper… So when I spent money on a website to tell my story (His story), I began to question the use of those funds. That’s like pouring the oil out on Jesus’ feet and then the scoffers taking notice. But instead of turning to Christ and having him set me free of these voices of unworthiness, I cancelled the website after only a few days.

Which leads us to today. Here. Now. Which is where I am beginning. This morning, I awoke to the story of the woman with the alabaster box. And today, I’m gonna break it open and anoint my Lord and Savior with every thought, word, and deed I have. And I’m gonna set up that website (just as soon as those funds get returned). And I’m going to share the gospel according to eli.

So, what about you? Where are you in your story? Or, rather, where will you begin? Consider making today a brand new beginning. Might I suggest you crack open the alabaster box?

Envision this: a once rebellious woman, in her affliction, pleads for God to help her while giving Him her all. God receives her offering, heals her, and she turns into His beloved. There is a story underneath the story. You have to look for it. Seek, Seeker, and be healed. Just like eli. Love is available for all.

1. MARY: rebellious or beloved ↩︎
2. BETHANY: house of affliction ↩︎
3. SIMON: God has heard ↩︎
4. ANNOINT: lather with oil ↩︎
5. To be AT MEAT: refers to an offering made to God ↩︎
6. PHARMEKIA: sorcery, witchcraft, the use of drugs for deceptive purposes ↩︎
7. FRAGRANCE: symbolizes worship, devotion, and the pleasing aroma of sacrifices offered to God, reflecting a believer’s relationship with Him ↩︎